Monthly Archives: August 2016

Girlfriends and other silly matters

its been aI’ve been in a negative funk lately, my hormones and my ego are at war and it’s not pretty.  I was just about to call it quits and put my butt on the couch to watch an old movie and eat crap while feeling sorry for myself when the Universe decided to step in with, “nope, you don’t get to feel sorry for yourself, you have it too good bitch!” and then the phone rang.  My college BFF that I haven’t spoken to in ages was on the other end.  She was a dear old friend, not granny old, more like I haven’t seen you in 30 years old, though . . .I guess that makes me granny old!  Anyhoo . . .After literally talking on the phone for almost 2 hours, (who does that anymore?) I was waiting for my dad to come into my room and yell at me that “grandma has been trying to call for the past hour and GET OFF THAT #@*&% PHONE NOW because she doesn’t know how to make an emergency breakthrough! ”  That really didn’t happen,  my dad passed away 12 years ago, so that would have been kind of weird, plus I don’t think anyone under the age of 40 knows what the hell I am talking about!. Well that was one hell of a run on sentence!  Kind of funny since my girlfriend is an English teacher!  OK, time to bring it back home.  We decided to meet and found a spot for lunch half way between both of us. Because of my obsessive need to be on time and I was running late, I parked in the first place I could find near the restaurant.  Why didn’t I park at the restaurant?   Well . . .that would be too easy!   I illegally parked in the back of what I think was a post office slash dump and ran.  Hoping when I got back I still had a car,  then it occurred to me. . .  how appropriate it would be having my car at the pound since it kind of looks like a monkey cat, (don’t ask, I’m not sure what monkey cat is), anyway, that is if a monkey cat had eye lashes!  mini cooper with eye lashes

What was I saying?  Oh yeah. . .so I made it to the restaurant only 2 minutes late and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember if Lynne was a 15 minutes late girl or anally early like moi, (well, except for this time).   I think years of smoking pot in my 20’s killed me of all remembering brain cells.  She was there on time and looking just like she did when we met 100 years ago.  It was like no time had past since we last saw each other.  And when I mean “saw” each other, it was because we both now had glasses on!  There might have been some added wrinkles;  I couldn’t find my reading glasses so I wouldn’t know.  PS, about an hour into our conversation, I did find them . . . .on top of my head!

if we get caughtAfter pretty much pissing everyone in the restaurant off who were within 10 feet of us, playing a little game we like to call  “remember this, remember that” talk which kind of goes like “Oh, remember that girl, what’s her name, she had fake blonde hair, dated that guy who we hated, what was his name”?  I am not sure if we completed on full sentence; but it was deliciously fun!  That’s the thing about girl friends, the true ones are always there and love you even when you don’t love yourself!  So I say to all of you who are feeling like me, that the world is against you and there is no way out, reach out and send love to someone you know who will make you laugh, not judge you on how you feel and will be more then happy to be there when you don’t have the strength to be there for yourself.